it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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