how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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