YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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