I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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