the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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