when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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