I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
