im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
