its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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