my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
