2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
