I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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