Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
