Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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