On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
