The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
