i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
