My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
