kristin has been a bad kristin
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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