when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
