i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
