Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
