There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
