On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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