No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
