I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
