Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
