Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
