Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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