Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
