Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
