Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
