i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
