Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think my vagina is haunted
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
