I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
