I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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