is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
