Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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