With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
