Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
