so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
