Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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