sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
