How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
