Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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