I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
