He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
