Kiss
Puke
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
