Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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