So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
