normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
