belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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