Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
